April 2008
13 posts
Researchers Discover Massive Asshole in... →
the crazies can see your gay
There was a guy on the subway tonight spouting off unintelligible gibberish, but in a moment of verbal clarity he shrieked to no one in particular, “JUST COME ON OUT AND BE A BIG DYKE!” It was kind of great — but you just know that somewhere on that train, some poor girl’s heart positively stopped and she freaked out, thinking, How does he know?! For her sake, I hope...
I was very distracted by Hillary's necklaces on... →
David Ortiz 'Curse' Jersey Going for $30K on eBay →
Like I said: The stupid Sox jersey was PLANTED beneath the new stadium last year solely so that it could be excavated this spring as a stunt, and now look! It’s on eBay! So what if it’s being auctioned off for charity? All charities are rendered bullshit when the New York Post is involved.
A text message exchange occurring during last...
Me: THEY DID NOT JUST MENTION THE GODDAMN JERSEY...and they filmed it?!
Lock: Best Meme Ever
Me: They fucking filmed the excavation?!
Lock: 'vi.
Me: I'm angry.
Lock: Why, pray tell?
Me: Because it's a fake story! It's a stunt staged by the nypost, for the nypost! David Simon would be all over this shit.
Lock: I agree with your reasoning, but emotionally I arrive at the opposite end of the spectrum.
Me: Only because it's the Sox, so you think it's cute. Meanwhile, some baby just died of neglect somewhere, and we didn't hear about it bc of this stunt.
Lock: Shh, Sig's on.
“Sometimes watching my parakeets is like watching a reality show. There’s...”
– Noelle Hancock
A Day at the Office
Rovzar: There is just so much puke in New York City. You don’t even notice it because it’s everywhere. Me: You just say that because you live in the East Village. Pressler: [interrupting, reading this] Ohmigod, Leven Rambin is NOT a Sweet Valley twin! No! Me: Yep. She is now. Pressler: She does not have blue-green eyes the color of the Pacific Ocean! SHE DOES NOT!
Maybe the Vagina Hour on the Today Show isn’t so terrible? Kathie Lee just noted that everyone’s either having great sex, “or they’re getting raped.” TELL ME ABOUT IT.
Not likely, but wouldn't it be wonderful?
caro: I’m starting to think that Fake Nick Denton is Real Nick Denton.
If this is what I'm preoccupied with, I have no...
I’m a juror on a criminal trial (no, unfortunately this is not some April Fool’s joke). Right now we’re waiting to go into the courtroom; another jury down the hall is doing the same. Except they’re loud — boisterous, even. At first I was annoyed, but now I’m just curious, maybe even a little jealous. Not that my fellow jurors aren’t friendly; they...
