Jessica Coen

I have so many responses to this, I can’t even pick one....

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:29:20 -0400

I have so many responses to this, I can’t even pick one. I’ve been short-circuited by mirth.

Minutes from an editorial meeting

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:17:20 -0400

Editor 1: Best movies to watch stoned?
Editor 2: All of them.

Eleven reasons why I need medication.

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:49:11 -0400

Eleven reasons why I need medication.

Hasn’t Colorado suffered enough for one day?

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 20:00:00 -0400

Hasn’t Colorado suffered enough for one day?

Suburbia: They’re kidnapping you and hiding you behind the...

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:09:00 -0400

Suburbia: They’re kidnapping you and hiding you behind the house for twenty years, or they’ve got an experimental helium-balloon aircraft out back. Either way, children lose and backyards are hell.

Why, hello, old friend!

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:14:04 -0400

It’s come to this:

We’ll also be meeting with Joe Dolce, former editor-in-chief of Star, current social media consultant, who will propose a social media experiment for the China Grill restaurants.

Social media consultant — pretty sure that’s unemployment-speak for “Chodorow’s Twintern.”

spiers: jessicacoen: Virginia Heffernan’s book is the book we all want to write, but can’t. No...

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:57:32 -0400

spiers:

jessicacoen:

Virginia Heffernan’s book is the book we all want to write, but can’t. No pleasures, indeed! I’m a little sad, honestly. Going to spend the rest of the day staring at my hands and this filthy keyboard. White keyboards, what the fuck.

I think Virginia’s book will be good, but I can pretty definitively say that there is no part of me, not a single molecule, that wants to write a book about the Internet.

I shouldn’t have said “we all,” as I was really speaking for myself and, say, two or three other nerds. This is really about me, and my issues. Like a real blog!

(And, Elizabeth, I’d argue that you might be interested if it were for the right amount, and if it were taking some kind of interesting socio-literary or heady-smart-person-economics approach to the whole beast. But I don’t know what I mean, exactly, because I haven’t had a fully fleshed-out thought in ages. Which brings us back to the main problem.)

Why Gawker Is So Wrong About Virginia Heffernan's Book Proposal

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:58:00 -0400

lindsayrobertson:

It’s actually amazing that someone out there who actually understands the internet is thinking about it all the time. And not the way we think about it, as bloggers (people to whom the internet affords no pleasures anymore) but as a thoughtful writer who only has to write one column per week and thus can go down the kind of rabbit holes most bloggers, with ten deadlines per day or whatever, can only dream of. When was the last time anyone *who is actually a good writer*, *who actually knows the internet*, had the time to examine it with any kind of thoughtfulness? Like, never! Literally never! They’re all too busy blogging! To read the Medium each week is to live vicariously through someone who actually has the time to ruminate and luxuriate in the medium in which most writers, for the most part, either resentfully toil or don’t understand.

Virginia Heffernan’s book is the book we all want to write, but can’t. No pleasures, indeed! I’m a little sad, honestly. Going to spend the rest of the day staring at my hands and this filthy keyboard. White keyboards, what the fuck.

John Mayer Threatens to Sodomize New York Mag.

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:37:00 -0400

Is there hope behind the heartbreak [themes on the new album]?
The melody is the hope. The lyrics are the heartbreak, the melody is the hope. If you have the lyrics being the heartbreak and the music as the heartbreak, your editor made you ask stupid fucking questions! You’re standing in front of me acting as if these questions are fair, but now we’re talking about something real. So there was stuff I wanted to put on the record that just didn’t fit the concept. So the next record will have that concept

What concept?
More political things, worldly things.

Such as?
Nothing rhymed with public option.

You don’t always have to rhyme, though.
I’m going to forcefully sodomize your editor.

pregnant with babies that look like r2d2 wearing a darth vadar...

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 16:10:00 -0400

pregnant with babies that look like r2d2 wearing a darth vadar helmet.

"my dickhead is shaped liked a darth vadar helmet. my dick is so fat it looks like r2d2."

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 15:50:56 -0400

“my dickhead is shaped liked a darth vadar helmet. my dick is so fat it looks like r2d2.”

- Okay, now Tracy Morgan is on Twitter.

OMG Tracy Morgan Finally Joined Twitter Y'all!!!

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 15:15:38 -0400

OMG Tracy Morgan Finally Joined Twitter Y'all!!!:

NB: His icon seems to be ripped from Starpulse, and the only person he’s following is his assistant. Both indicate that there’s a lot of editorial potential here — but until there’s some actual gibberish, I refuse to get excited.

Interns ask the most hateful questions.

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:33:00 -0400

Interns ask the most hateful questions.

"You ask yourself questions like, “If I knew I would have this sore throat for the rest of my..."

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:39:02 -0400

“You ask yourself questions like, “If I knew I would have this sore throat for the rest of my life, would I choose to go on living?” And the answer will be, “No.””

- What to Expect When You’re Expecting Swine Flu, by Lindsay Robertson

"Jindal’s entrance reminded one of Mr. Burns gamboling toward a table of ointments."

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:42:46 -0500

“Jindal’s entrance reminded one of Mr. Burns gamboling toward a table of ointments.”

- Keith Olbermann (via spiegelman)

leitch: jdel: fusioned: marklisanti: Well, that’s certainly...

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 13:58:00 -0500

leitch:

jdel:

fusioned:

marklisanti:

Well, that’s certainly something.

(Current bid: $10.50. That’s an absolute steal.)

Nick Denton Gawker Media Blog NY Pancake Art Lacey - eBay (item 250362129946 end time Feb-02-09 08:42:19 PST)

WHOEVER RUINED MY SHIT IS GOING TO GET FUCKED WITH. I’M WINNING THIS FUCKING PAINTING.

I have a birthday coming up, you know.

You freaking pansy.

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 09:51:00 -0500

WashingtonPost.com executive editor Jim Brady has stepped down from his post: “I’m beat up, tired, burned out.”

I know dressing up for Halloween is the thing to do on morning television, but Martha as Medusa and...

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 11:07:04 -0400

I know dressing up for Halloween is the thing to do on morning television, but Martha as Medusa and Hasselbeck as Reagan aren’t really costumes.

There’s just no right way to look at this. Trig Palin Photos: See How He’s Grown...

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:08:30 -0400

There’s just no right way to look at this.

Trig Palin Photos: See How He’s Grown (SLIDESHOW)

There are terrifying little happy faces hidden on the package of...

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 12:56:43 -0400

There are terrifying little happy faces hidden on the package of Cascadian Farms frozen broccoli. Be aware.